How To Survive Adversity
During this podcast episode we are bowled over by a true Motivational Speaker - Jamie Denyer who delivers talks at schools, colleges, universities, corporate and professional sports teams. He offers one to one and group coaching on resilience and confidence for adults and children. Jamie - also known as the Grief Preacher on socials, also helps with self-esteem, self worth, mental health and suicide prevention. Here are some of the key discussion points:
HOW TO SURVIVE ADVERSITY
Jamie’s life changed in a single moment and would never be the same again when he lost his nephew in 2012, who was tragically killed by a single punch to the head in an unprovoked attack and later died in hospital. Even after his nephew had died, Jamie learned that he was saving lives as he had signed up to be an organ donor. This really impacted Jamie and he felt like he needed to do something, to make a difference to others in a positive way like his nephew.
That was the starting point of his career as a Motivational Speaker. After delivering a talk at a local school Jamie received an email from a boy in Year 11 saying “thank you for everything you said today because you haven’t just changed my life, you’ve saved my life.” Sadly he was planning on taking his own life later that evening. Now it was Jamie’s turn to start saving lives, just like his nephew.
Jamie talks about the importance of connecting with our children and revisiting the old and traditional values of society as an alternative solution to today’s problems. He explains the importance of keeping things simple and not overcomplicating it. Everything that young people are facing at the moment is very challenging. Social media means that they are getting bullied not just at school or after school but potentially 24/7. Self-esteem is so low because people are comparing themselves to other people they see, not just from their class or school but from across the globe. Kids today are in constant competition with the rest of the world.
Jamie explains that natural resilience in today’s world has dropped but the negative influences of the world have gone up, causing a massive imbalance. Jamie is very passionate about and works with young people to help with resilience. Part of this is about staying true to yourself. This is something that is now paying off for Jamie - when he was younger he was bullied for it, but now it sets him apart from the crowd in a good way. His advice is don’t try to conform or be something you’re not - be a role model by staying true to who you are.
It has become evident that a positive masculine role model just isn’t there for some young people today. Jamie explains that a lot of masculine people are under attack - like it’s toxic to be a strong masculine figure. Jamie shares that being a positive masculine influence is about being protective and to provide whilst being sensitive and loving.
Another challenge we are facing today with multiple world-wide influences, is that people just go along with what others tell them to do and don’t question it. Do we have too many followers and not enough leaders? We need to start to develop an internal moral compass. Jamie delivers this message in his talks: stressing that people need to do the inner work in order to find their inner strength, resilience and integrity.
Jamie also talks about forgiveness. It takes a great deal of strength to forgive but he believes it’s not just about letting someone else off the hook but also letting yourself off the hook - forgiving yourself too and not clinging on to old hurt for the rest of your life.
Jamie talks very candidly about when he received the news that his sister had taken her life and the importance of the skills and knowledge he had previously learned from when he lost his nephew. Despite feeling heartbroken and devastated, he knew he could get through it. Three days later he took a call from a single mother who was suicidal. After talking with Jamie, she started to heal and changed her life completely and is now helping to raise awareness of mental health and supporting others herself.
We also talked about the importance of self investment and people’s reluctance at times to do so. Are we more willing to spend money on ‘things’ or maybe a few thousand pounds on holidays or a car but not invest in ourselves? Jamie offers a great analogy about diamonds in amongst the debris - they are the seeds to your confidence, self-esteem and purpose and we need to realise how important it is to invest the time into finding them.
To find out more about the incredible work that Jamie does - www.jamiedenyer.com or follow @griefpreacher on the socials.